Please do not be alarmed by this post. Sometimes I like to play devil's advocate. My most recent pondering and research have led me to think about, "is marriage worth it?"
Worth what?!
In recently read articles, forums and talking to other married or divorced people it is many things.
It = stress, hurt, tears, anxiety, distrust, regret, possible divorce.
So to restate my previous question, "is marriage worth the stress, hurt, tears, anxiety, distrust, regret and possible divorce?"
In recent conversations about 98% (the 2% is my mom who thinks being married to my dad is the easiest, which I'm sure it is) of the people have told me that marriage is:
- hard
- frustrating
- stressful
- disappointing
- not all it's cracked up to be
- heartache
50% of all marriages end up divorce these days. Compared to 13% of LDS people who get married in the temple and stay active.
Still 13 percent ....
In some states now they have "divorce kiosks" where you can get a divorce without ever having to see a judge.
So why why why whhhhhhy would anyone ever want to get married?
Some things to consider:
You need to pick the right person. If you find the right person and fall in love with them then you will be willing to do whatever is needed to get through all the frustration, the hard times, the stress and the let downs to keep your marriage together.
Marriage is not easy (for everyone). Yes I do know people who say marriage is easy because they picked someone who makes it that way. But for the majority of those who are married, it is not easy. You have to live with someone who thinks, acts and has different habits than you. You're suddenly spending a loooooot of time with that person. You're going to get on each others nerves and probably snap. But apparently if you love them and remember that, you'll be fine.
If you want it to work, it will. It's like anything else that's hard. If you put in 100% of your effort and want it to work out, more than likely it will.
It's forever. In the LDS culture we believe that marriage is eternal. For those of us who choose to get married in the temple that is not just a commitment, it's a covenant. Knowing that wouldn't you want to treat your spouse who will be with you forever with all the respect in the world? Also, we honor and keep our covenants to a T, so the marriage covenant shouldn't be any different.
I've come to the conclusion that maybe marriage isn't for everyone.
Maybe some people are better off without it.
But if and when you do get married there are some things you cannot compromise:
- Marry someone you trust 100%
- Choose daily to love your spouse. Yeah you can wake up with negative feelings about them, or you can choose to love them every single day.
- When you're mad at them, pray with or for them
- Have faith that your marriage will last
So what do you think? Is marriage worth it?
External articles I found interesting:
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